... and no, I'm not talking about the steakhouse.
I don't know if I'm ever going to have a kid. I'm very selfish and irresponsible, which are generally bad combinations for fatherhood. Christine doesn't want kids either; her golden retriever is going to be her first-born son. Maybe one day we'll get our act together and find a way to make another human being, but right now it's far more likely that we'll be tending to dogs for the rest of our lives.
But I just found out tonight that my sister is going to have a baby, and what's more she and her husband are doing so willingly. Right now I'm fluctuating between waves of big-brother freak-outs and bursts of unbridled enthusiasm. I actually like children a lot, because you can teach them things and make fun of them and play games with them and other fun stuff. I also like giving kids back to their parents when they start to cry or need their diaper changed or just starting acting like a pain in the ass, which I'll be able to do when their kid starts acting up. I'm definitely looking forward to that!
So I'm looking forward to teaching my future nephew or niece about the important things in life, and threatening to sell him or her to the gypsies when he or she start acting ridiculous. I told my sister tonight that I'll take the kid to Mets games when he or she is old enough (although "old enough" means sitting through a three-hour game without a bathroom break). I'm sitting here now and thinking to myself, "should I really subject this child to a lifetime of suffering as a Mets fan?"
It's a moral conundrum. I love the Mets, and I know that I'll form an even stronger bond with this kid by inducting him or her into the society of Mets fans. But is it fair to a child to introduce him or her to the Mets when I know he or she will be happier rooting for some other team?
Aww, who am I kidding? This kid will be sleeping in a David Wright onesie before it's even one month old!!